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Simon Plaster

An upcoming Presidential Election may depend on the vote outcome in Oklahoma,which in turn may hinge on local issues of County Commissioner contests, specifically including one in rural Okmulgee County. There, in a Republican Party stronghold, a door-to-door pots and pans salesman, Virgil Carter, runs as a Democrat.
Also hanging in the balance in Oklahoma is ratification of a constitutional amendment to abolish the Electoral College in favor of popular vote. With the state legislature deadlocked —- and the dysfunctional U.S. Supreme Court otherwise engaged —- the Ninth Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals adopts the slogan “Everybody Counts” as a strict rule of constitutional law. And so, with the issue not conclusively resolved, the Presidential Election proceeds on parallel —- electoral vote and popular vote —- tracks.
With both national political parties playing it especially close to the vest, news media declare Virgil Carter to be the new darling of the Democratic Party, and effectively “nationalize” the Okmulgee County Commissioner Election as a contest of proxies for the Presidential Election. Virgil becomes a household name, and is picked by the incumbent President to be his Vice-Presidential running mate.
Oklahoma’s popular vote ends in a politically unbreakable tie, its electoral votes remain undetermined, the Electoral College is deadlocked. An ever-shifting margin in the national popular vote is a tiny fraction of the .005 difference in the 2000 Bush-Gore Election, and . . . Only then do proponents for doing away with the Electoral College fully realize that every single one of the 150 million votes cast in the Presidential Election must be re-counted, and after a multitude of legal challenges, re-counted again, and again.
Fortunately, it seems, an obscure provision of a new federal Everybody Counts Voter Enfranchisement Statute addresses the situation, but . . . well, it’s not for nothing that this story is titled SNAFU.
A young, small town newspaper reporter, Henryetta Hebert,  tells most of this epic tale, and in the end comes up with a resolution to it and a national crisis.